JE NE REGRETTE RIEN

                       REGRETS I'VE HAD A FEW ,TOO FEW TO MENTION.
                              I LIVED A LIFE OF LOVE
                                    AND DID IT MY WAY!
                                            
                                      
                             THAT 'S THE SHORT VERSION OF THE SINATRA SONG.  I REQUESTED IT FOR MY 2OTH YEAR OF TEACHING RECOGNITION PARTY.ALSO CLOUDS(BOTH SIDES NOW ) BY JOANIE ---------------(MITCHELL).  SHE WAS MY FAVORITE SINGER.  NOW I'M HAVING TROUBLE REMEMBERING HER NAME.  SHE WROTE THEY PAVED PARADISE AND PUT UP A PARKING LOT.  IF I GET ANY MORE FORGETFUL, A BIG YELLOW TAXI WILL TAKE ME AWAY.   GOOD THING- I CAN'T DRIVE FAR.  I GET DIZZY AND FEEL FAINT.  I'VE NEVER BLACKED OUT.  I ALWAYS STOP BEFORE THEN AND CALL MY  HUSBAND WHO IS VERY ANNOYED HE HAS TO LEAVE HIS LAZYBOY TO COME AND HELP ME.  IT ESPECIALLY HAPPENS  ON BRIDGES ADN ON HIGHWAYS.  I'VE GOTTEN BETTER.  A FEW YEARS AGO,IT GOT SO BAD THAT I COULD BARELY DRIVE AROUND THE BLOCK.  I COLLAPSSED ONCE WHILE WALKING ON A HOT NIGHT FOR A SECOND.
                                  I'VE GONE TO CARDIOLOGISTS,ENDOCRINOLOGISTS AND BRAIN SPSECIALISTS.  I'VE RECEIVED NO MEDICINE.  I'VE HAD MRIS,ENCEPHLOGRAMS,EKGS,AND BLOOD TESTS.  OH I HAD A BALANCE TEST TOO WHICH WAS STRAIGHT OUT OF ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO NEST.   FINALLY THE GP HAD ME DO A HYPOGLYCEMIA TEST.  SURE ENOUGH THERE WAS A DIAGNOSIS AT LAST.  I'M SUPPOSED TO EAT PROTEIN EVERY TWO HOURS.  I'VE FELT BETTER BUT STILL CAN BARELY DRIVE.  SHE SAYS THE ATTACKS (LOW BLOOD SUGAR) AFFECT YOUR MEMORY.  I'M LIVING PROOF OF THAT, SAID MRS. MALAPROP.  LACK OF SLEEP,TOO MUCH EXERCISE AND GAS FUMES(AUTO.LAWNMOWER) AFFECT IT.  SO DOES DEHYDRATION.
        IN VERMONT,THE DOCTORS AT THE ETHAN ALLEN HOSPITAL SAID IT'S A PANIC ATTACK.  IT HAPPENS AFTER A LOSS.  I COULD BARELY DRIVE BACK FROM VERMONT A FEW YEARS AGO BUT A STOP AT TWO CONNECTICUT CASINOS ENABLED ME TO MAKE IT BACK TO CAPE COD.  NO ONE OFFERED TO DRIVE ME INCLUDING MY HUSBAND ON THE LAZYBOY.  HE TELLS ME HE WON'T DRIVE ME AROUND.  THIS AFTER I PAY FOR EVERY CAR,HOUSE,FOOD,GAS,INSURANCE,CREDIT CARD OR MORTGAGE THAT WE HAVE.  
                  SO I'M FLYING,TAKING BIG YELLOW TAXIS,BOATS,BUSES AND TRAINS.  THE MRI SHOWED SOME BROKEN BLOOD VESSELS IN MY BRAIN.  I GUESS THE PART WHERE JOANIE MITCHELL IS STORED.
    SO I'M OFF TO NYC IN SPITE OF A GIMPY LEG.  THEN IN LATE JUNE SEATTLE AND HAWAII.  SO REGRETS I'VE HAD A FEW.  BUT I'M NOT TAKING ANY PILLS.  REHAB DOES NOT SOUND LIKE FUN OR CONKING INTO A CAR IN A DUI HAZE.
                      COME FLY WITH ME.  HOPEFULLY THE PILOT IS FEELING GOOD AND NO 3 FOOT  HOLES OPEN UP IN THE ROOF OF THE 737 FROM BAD GROMETS.  I HOPE THEY AREN'T USING CHINTZY CHINESE PARTS.  THEY HAVEN'T MASTERED THE ZIPPER YET.  PLEASE USE US STEEL.

A BRIGHTER SHADE OF PALE

                     HOW COME I CAN REMEMBER KING KEHAMAHAMAMEHA AND NOT JOANIE MITCHELL?  OH BY THE WAY MY BACKBONE IS SUPPOSED TO SUDDENLY CRUMBLE FROM ANY HARD JOLT OR BANG.  I'M SUPPOSED TO TAKE ACTONEL EVERY MONTH.  I CAN'T FIND MY PRESCRIPTION.    WHAT A DRAG IT IS GETTING OLDER I HEAR EVERYONE SAY AS THEY RUN TO THE SHELTER OF THEIR MOTHER'S LITTLE HELPER.