Feliz Navidad yProspero Ano 2010

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart!!

Viva los Yankees

TIGER

WHAT CAN YOU SAY?

WHY?

Let ye who are perfect cast the first stone

IT'S BEEN THE LEAD STORY ON THE NY POST FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS.

THEY HAVE ELLIOT SPITZER'S PROSTITUTE WRITING AN ADVICE COLUMN.

STILL IT'S RACEY AND INTERESTING.  OR IS IT RACIST AND INTERESTING.

OUTFOXED-A Fox Tale by Mary Boylan

FOX HILL GOLF COURSE

RACCOON UP A TREE RUNNING FROM GOLF CARTS

LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING THE CART PATHS

 FOX HILL GOLF COURSE

      The Fox Family lived on the FOX HILL Golf Course between the 3rd and 4th holes.  The Foxes had four children.  There was Millie,Jane,Freddy and Frankie Fox.   The four children kept Mr. and Mrs. Fox busy keeping them off the golf course during the day.  "Don't let Buddy see you on the course they warned the children every day."
     "Keep those kids out of the sand traps," Buddy, the Golf Course Greens Keeper would shout.  " It is not a sand box!  I don't want to see those Fox kids in there rolling around in the sand.  Keep them out."  Then Buddy would slam the trap rake into the ground making the whole Fox Family shake.  Mr. and Mrs. Fox and the four children all shook their heads in agreement.
     "I wish it were like the old days," sighed Father Fox.  "When I was young  FOX HILL had orange groves.  You could smell the orange blossoms for miles."    Mother Fox agreed, "It was like perfume.  We played anywhere we liked."  Progress!"  moaned Father.  
     Still the Golf Course members loved the young Foxes.  "Here's some grapes for the kids," the members would say as they dropped treats for the Fox children.   Often the Fox children would stand by the patios alongside the course hoping for more treats.  The Golf Course owner, Mr. Hemingway  admonished the members for feeding the Foxes in the Fox Hollow  Golf Course monthly newsletter.
     "We go out every day and get you kids food.  Stop begging.  You are going to get fat.  Only eat at meal time.  No more treats,"  said Mother Fox in a stern voice to her children.  "Now it is time for school.  Clean up and come into the den."
     The Fox Family children were home schooled by  Mother Fox.  "Today's lesson is safety.  Look out for flying white balls.  They can knock your eye out or crack your head open.  Look both ways before crossing.  There are golf carts on the pathways and even on the grass.  You could be run over.  Watch out for flying golf clubs.   Sometimes the members mishit a golf ball and then throw their golf club in anger.  Tomorrow we will discuss lawn mowers,blowers,edgers and fertilizer.  Now for the other subjects."    The kids cried,  "Can't we have recess now?"  "All right children." smiled Mom.  "It is a beautiful day.  Go play but watch out for golf balls."
     "But whatever you do Millie,Jane.Frankie and Freddy stay out of Mr. Hemingway's yard.  He does not want children on the golf course.  We will have to leave Fox Hollow if you play in his yard,or on the fairways,greens or sand traps.  He has been looking very cranky lately," said Father Fox.  "Yes," said Mother Fox, "Mr. Hemingway is very upset about something."  "I hope it's not the Foxes, "whispered Jane to Millie.
     The next day, the Club House doors were locked.  No one was playing on the course.  A sign was on the Putting Green:  Foreclosed-Bank Owned.  Call 321-727-7777  for information.  Mr. Fox dialed the number and listened to the recording:  "Fox Hollow has been sold to the Lexus Land Development Corporation. Soon a luxury home sub-division will be built on the Fox Hollow  Golf Course Fairways.  It will be called the Fox Hollow Tennis and Pool Club."
     Mr. Fox felt a sharp pain in his heart,  "Our home will never be the same.  There will be no greens,sand traps or fairways for our backyard just gigantic houses,houses and houses as far as the eye can see."  He ran to Mother Fox screaming, "First they took the orange groves and now the golf course.  Fox Hollow is ruined.  We must move. The FOX HILL Golf Course is being taken over by developers.  There will be barely any grass or trees for the birds,turtles or butterflies."  Mother Fox moaned, "The fresh air and shade will be gone.  We must leave the Hollow before it's too late."
     "It will be just like a city with streets and sidewalks everywhere." Dad continued.   "But Mom don't you remember what we learned in Nature Class?  All we need are two Scrub Jays to nest on the Fox Hollow 
 Golf Course and their habitat can't be disturbed.  Scrub Jays are a protected species.  All their nesting grounds have become  housing developments and shopping centers.  You can't build where Scrub Jays nest. It's the law,"said Freddy to his Home School Teacher.  "We must find some Scrub Jays,"smiled Mom giving Freddy a big kiss on the cheek.  "You are a sly one Freddy."
     Soon Mr. Raven was broadcasting the news:  "Calling all Scrub Jays.  Save Fox Hollow  Golf Course for the Fox Family.  Nest here now."  The alarm went out to all the Fox Hollow residents.  In a few days Blue Jay like  Florida Scrub Jays were hopping all over the fairways of the FOX HILL Golf Course.

THE FOX FAMILY

AT HOME IN THEIR DEN ON THE FAIRWAY

     The Lexus Housing Development Corporation could not build houses on the FOX HILL Golf Course Fairways because of the Scrub Jays living there.   The members told Mr. Hemingway, "The Foxes saved the golf course from development.  They brought in all the Scrub Jays.  If  you let them live here forever, we will each pay $10,000 to keep the course from a foreclosure sale."
     Mr. Hemingway ran to the Foxes: "You saved my golf course.  You can live here forever."   Freddy whispered in his mother's ear.  Mother Fox replied," Freddy is right.  The Scrub Jays saved the course.  Please change the name to the Scrub Jay Golf Course."    Mr. Hemingway gave Freddy a hug,"Gladly!  The Foxes and Scrub Jays saved the golf course."
      "You Foxes saved my job by bringing the Florida Scrub Jays to the course.  There will be no more tractors, leaf blowers,lawn mowers, chain saws or fertilizer near your home.  You saved Fox Hollow.  I mean Scrub Jay Golf Course  I will put up a sign:  Do Not Disturb The Fox Family Home," said Buddy, the Greens Keeper.   "Thank you Buddy Ol' Buddy,"  laughed  Mr. Fox.
     "Fore," said Mrs. Fox as a little white ball sailed by Hemingway's head.    "That Joe Bear can hit- a little wild but he can hit.  He was club champion last year.  Thanks to the Foxes, the members are already playing," cheered Mr. Hemingway.
     "Play on!" said Millie,Jane,Freddy, Frankie,and Mr. and Mrs. Fox. "Thank the Florida Scrub Jays too.  See how Nature Class can help us all."

Tiger,Tiger Burning Bright

I did not have sex with that woman.

I had transgressions. Classy ladies who sell their voicemail to the tabloids plus their text messages.

What about his wife? What happened to concern about sexually transmitted diseases?

Wear your rubbers.
The End

Sports Illustrated Swim Suit issue

Sportman of the Year=

Derek JeterSports Illustrated


Put him in  the Swimsuit issue.   Some other athletes too.  Plus politicians.

Now that Scott Brown is the new Kennedy (I mean Senator ) from Massachusetts, how about a politicians' Sports Illustrated Swim suit issue?  Scott posed almost nude except for a discreet hand where a fig leaf usually goes.  He's ready!   Nancy Pelosi has had some work done.  Hilary can suck it in.   Sarah Palin told O'Reilly that she jogs 5 miles a day.  She's toned.  Lieberman with circumcision.  Romney without.  Maybe they could pose on the beach in Haiti.  While there they could help those people out.   The Haitians are not receiving the aid that has been flown in.  They are dying from neglect.  In the meantime, America is ready to have tea parties(aka revolutions over health care reform.  Americans are so afraid they may lose something so they won't help others.

As the great debate on health care drags on and on and on, the people of Haiti suffer beyond belief.