NO,NO NANETTE

THAT BROADWAY SHOW RUINED THE RED SOX FOR ONE HUNDRED YEARS. SO NOW THE HOUSE THAT GREED BUILT( STEINBRENNER MEMORIAL STADIUM) WILL DOOM THE YANKEES FOR ANOTHER ONE HUNDRED.

I GUESS IT'S THE ONE HUNDRED YEAR WAR REDUX. THE SWINE FLU SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THOSE DARK AGES' PLAGUES. LOOK OUT FOR LOCUSTS. THERE ARE PLENTY OF RATS AND ROACHES IN THE BRONX, SO I GUESS THAT'S THE NEXT PLAGUE.

THE WAY CNBC,CNN AND FOX ARE TALKING I GUESS THIS RECESSION IS THE DARK AGES. BUT I DIDN'T KNOW RECESSION MEANT A REDUCTION IN YANKEE RUNS AND WINS AND A REDUCTION IN GAME ATTENDANCE AT THE HOUSE THAT GREED BUILT.

IF THE YANKEES KEEP LOSING, IT WILL BE THE GREAT BASEBALL DEPRESSION.

GOT PITCHERS? STEROIDS? MAYBE THEY SELL SOMETHING ON THE CORNER IN THE BRONX THAT CAN STIMULATE THESE YANKEES. DOESN'T MANNY HAVE A LONG LOST COUSIN IN WASHINGTON HEIGHTS?

THAT'S WHAT WE NEED A YANKEE STIMULUS PLAN. THAT'S WHAT THEY DID FOR ALL THE US BIG BANKS THAT ALMOST COLLAPSED FROM CORPORATE EXCESS.

THOSE BAD LOANS ARE THE EQUIVALENT OF THE MONEY SPENT ON NEW (UNNEEDED) YANKEE REAL ESTATE AND OVER THE HILL PITCHERS NOT TO MENTION A ROD WHO SHOULD HAVE HAD A HIP HOP OPERATION IN THE OFF SEASON.

Bronx ZooII Reverse The Curse

Rev-erse the Curse

The House That Ruth Built stands empty next to the House THat Greed Built. Babe Ruth has cursed the Yankees into hours of Tim McCarver and Joe Buck rumblings as one of the longest losses in history against the Red Sox occurred in the old Fenway Park Stadium. The soon to be 100 year old Red Sox fan secretly prayed not to make it to 101 years. he couldn't take another day of agony. At least the Red Sox won. So Ted Williams shined down on him from his frozen grave.

But you don't mess with the Babe. So Yankee fans cry out from the zoo where the chimps play for hours with the best pitchers that money can buy: REVERSE THE CURSE

Red Sox fans yell: GO BACK TO THE ZOO

YANKEES GO HOME

Juicing The Ball

How many runs can a baseball player get when juice is applied to the ball? I guess an honest man like Bernie Madoff is the baseball commissioner. Another good one is replays at the discretion of the umpires. There's no business like show(baseball ) business. Now fantasy baseball is not on the computer. It's on the field.

They re not baseball players. They are actors. All the world's a baseball stadium and we must all play our part. It's a game told by an idiot(Tim McCarver) full of sound and fury signifying nothing. Out Out Brief foul ball, baseball is but a poor player who struts and frets his hour on the bases and then is heard no more. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace until the last home run of recorded time. Then finally football begins.

Opening Day IV

The Yankees lost. At least it didn't snow. They lost in Tampa on Opening Day too. The outfielder had to pitch.
Got the largest payroll and most expensive pitchers on Earth and you lose. It's the curse of the House That Ruth built.

But it ain't over until the fat lady sings.

Apologies To The Pope

Sorry I had no idea the candles, dark church, baptisms and confirmations were part of the Easter Vigil. Still a shorter service would be much better.

Let's hope Opening Day for the Yankees in NYC is better than the massacre on opening day in Tampa. (St. Petersburg).

I correctly predicted an angel winning the Masters on Easter Sunday. So the Pope will absolve me of my Vigil error. It was a jelly bean free Easter unfortunately. THe brunch was great but not a jelly bean to be seen

Mel Gibson is divorcing after 28 years. Irreconcilable diffeences and no prenup. Bill and I have the same problem-24 years They lived on Merritt Island in Florida near Satellite Beach. That's where the 7 children went to Episcopalian prep school.

What would Mel do is our motto. It's cheaper to keep her.

Opening Day II

All I am saying is give peace a chance. Happy Easter. We're celebrating by watching the Masters + a brunch at the country club. We attended a 2 1/2 hour Easter Vigil last night. It made a baseball game seem short. I know my Redeemer liveth and will put an end to such Mania. One half hour to an hourr could be eliminated if they skippped the outdoor march and candle servece plus the rlighting of 500 candles inside the church. They read five Bible pieces by flashlight. There were baptisms and confirmations and renunciations of the devil. Just like baseball, it went into overtime. I don't know what is going on in the rest of the world, but in Florida where everyone is over 65, the services take an eternity and involve alot of walking.
Give me that old time religion-kneeling, praying and singing. It should not be an endurance test.
AMEN(Corner that is on EASTER SUNDAY). Happy Masters. Of course Angel Cabrera will win. It's Easter!

Apologies To ESPN

Congratulations To ESPN For Showing Opening Day Across The USA! Bravo ESPN you outdid MLB Baseball for a change. Keep promoting the National Pastime instead of tearing it apart. Can't you find a few soccer scandals(referees in the pocket of the Mafia etc.),football(psychotic linemen),racing(drivers popping uppers), horseracing(jockeys named Jesus), basketball(players too tall to verify their height), hockey(false teeth),golf(steroids for the men and hormones for the women),boxing(head injuries) and much more. Let the police investigate crimes not you and Congress. Bring cheer not gloom and doom. Ciongress has the economy. Iran and Afghanistan to worry about, not to mention the now forgotten Iraq and our soldiers in harm's way every day.

Keep score. That's all we ask.
Say it ain't so,Joe?

Opening Day

We're talking baseball. Since Spring training was killed by World Baseball and since Opening Day in the snow belt is freezing. Let's have Opening Day down South in the football stadiums and large baseball stadiums. Then a second opening day can be held up north a few weeks later when it's warmer.
Half of the Northern baseball fans have moved south,so show us a week or two of real baseball below the Mason Dixon Line. If football can play the Super Bowl in warm climates, baseball can put the first early weeks of baseball in the sun.

As for baseball statistics, nothing can be compared versus pre and post drug testing and standards eras. Nothing should be compared between the long and short seasons. Got ****** eh?

Congratulations to MLB Cable for promoting baseball. ESPN is trying to kill it with their exposes. So play ball. Snowballs I mean.