CHICL LIT

                          WOMEN WITH A COUPLE OF CHILDREN AND HOLDING DOWN A FULL TIME JOB ARE WRITING CHICK LIT ON THEIR CHRISTMAS VACATION.  I HAVE ZERO RESPONSIBILITIES AND AM WRITING CHICKEN LIT.  THAT MEANS I WRITE NOTHING THAT EVER GETS PUBLISHED.  GO FIGURE. 
                           DANIELLE STEELE HAD 6 CHILDREN AND WROTE A ZILLION CHICK LIT BOOKS.  NANCY PELOSI  HAD 6 CHILDREN AND LEAD THE CONGRESS UNTIL SHE PULLED A BOEHNER.   THEY ARE BOTH FROM SAN FRANCISCO (NOT BOEHNER).  MAYBE IT'S IN THE WATER OR THAT GHIRADELLI CHOCOLATE.
                              SO THE FRUSTRATIONS OF THE UNPUBLISHED CHICKEN LITERATURE WRITERS PERSIST.  MY LATEST WRITING GURU ANNE LAMOTT (ALSO FROM SAN FRANCISCO) SAYS YOU'LL BE PUBLISHED WHEN YOU'RE READY.  WRITE SHORT ARTICLES OR STORIES.  TELL ABOUT YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES.
                               ANNE LAMOTT  MADE A LIVING WRITING RESTAURANT REVIEWS.  HER HUSBAND WOULD SIT WITH THER IN THE RESTAURANT AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THE SMALL PORTIONS OR SNOOTY WAITERS IN GOURMET RESTAURANTS.  LUCKILY ANNE STILL HAD HER HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO.   TITUSVILLE HAS NO GOURMET RESTAURANTS.  WE JUST HAVE ROCKETS BLASTING OFF.  AFTER TWO OR THREE MORE SHUTTLE LAUNCHES THAT WILL END TOO.
                                SO I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO WRITE CHICK LIT ASTRONAUT ROMANCE NOVELS TO GET PUBLISHED.  A TALL DARK ALIEN WILL LAND IN A TITUSVILLE SWAMP AND BE NURSED BACK TO HEALTH BY AN ASTRONAUT'S WIFE.  THE ASTRONAUT WILL BE ON A 7 YEAR VOYAGE TO AN ASTEROID OR A MARS.  THE WIFE WILL MATE WITH THE ALIEN JUST BEFORE HE DISINTEGRATES FROM OVER EXPOSURE TO THE BLISTERING FLORIDA SUN.  UH OH HE FORGOT SUN BLOCK THAT DAY.  COPPERTONE STRIKES AGAIN.
                           WHEN THE ASTRONAUT RETURNS AFTER 14 YEARS,HE FINALLY MEETS HIS  7FT 2INCH TEENAGE SON WHO IS ON THE FLORIDA STATE BASKETBALL TEAM AND BEING SCOUTED BY THE NBA.   HE'D ONLY SEEN HIM IN PICTURES AND VIDEO SINCE HIS WIFE HAD USED IN VITRO FERTILIZATION WITH HIS STORED SPERM A YEAR OR TWO AFTER HE BLASTED OFF.  ODDLY HIS TALL SON WAS DARK EVEN THOUGH THE ASTRONAUT WAS A BLONDE.
                      THE ROMANCE WITH THE DECEASED ALIEN WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED .  UNFORTUNATELY THE NCAA INTRODUCED A NEW DNA BLOOD TEST TO DETERMINE IF GENETIC ENGINEERING HAD CREATED THIS GIGANTIC PLAYER.
                        THE ASTRONAUT HUSBAND WAS FORCED TO HIJACK A ROCKET AND FLY HIS TALL STEPSON BACK TO  HIS SPACE STATION HOME BEYOND MARS.  HE WOULD BE AN OLD MAN WHEN HE RETURNED TO EARTH AND OF COURSE WOULD BE IN PRISON FOR ROCKET THEFT.

COME FLY WITH ME

                              THE ASTRONAUT'S WIFE WOULD BE ALONE WITH HER MEMORIES UNTIL ANOTHER ALIEN LANDED IN HER BEDROOM.  SURPRISE.  HE WAS TALL AND DARK TOO.