HOT,HOT,HOT

                           WE'VE HAD A HEATWAVE.  IT WILL BE OUT OF THE 80'S AND BACK IN THE 70'S SOON.  IT'S THE KIND OF WEATHER THEY HAVE IN FLORIDA DURING THE MERRY MONTH OF MAY.  SO WE'VE BEEN SWIMMING IN A HEATED POOL AND SUNNING AT THE OCEAN.   THE OCEAN WATER IS STILL COOL IN CENTRAL FLORIDA. 
                              I WALKED ON A CLOUDY HOT DAY IN THE NEW SMYRNA DUNES-ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS.  THE ONLY DRAWBACK WERE GIGANTIC CONDOS ON THE PERIPHERY.  LATER WE WENT TO THE CANAVERAL NATIONAL PARK NEAR NEW SMYRNA, BEACH AND SUNNED UNDER AN UMBRELLA.

                              SO THAT'S ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT.

CHICL LIT

                          WOMEN WITH A COUPLE OF CHILDREN AND HOLDING DOWN A FULL TIME JOB ARE WRITING CHICK LIT ON THEIR CHRISTMAS VACATION.  I HAVE ZERO RESPONSIBILITIES AND AM WRITING CHICKEN LIT.  THAT MEANS I WRITE NOTHING THAT EVER GETS PUBLISHED.  GO FIGURE. 
                           DANIELLE STEELE HAD 6 CHILDREN AND WROTE A ZILLION CHICK LIT BOOKS.  NANCY PELOSI  HAD 6 CHILDREN AND LEAD THE CONGRESS UNTIL SHE PULLED A BOEHNER.   THEY ARE BOTH FROM SAN FRANCISCO (NOT BOEHNER).  MAYBE IT'S IN THE WATER OR THAT GHIRADELLI CHOCOLATE.
                              SO THE FRUSTRATIONS OF THE UNPUBLISHED CHICKEN LITERATURE WRITERS PERSIST.  MY LATEST WRITING GURU ANNE LAMOTT (ALSO FROM SAN FRANCISCO) SAYS YOU'LL BE PUBLISHED WHEN YOU'RE READY.  WRITE SHORT ARTICLES OR STORIES.  TELL ABOUT YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES.
                               ANNE LAMOTT  MADE A LIVING WRITING RESTAURANT REVIEWS.  HER HUSBAND WOULD SIT WITH THER IN THE RESTAURANT AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THE SMALL PORTIONS OR SNOOTY WAITERS IN GOURMET RESTAURANTS.  LUCKILY ANNE STILL HAD HER HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO.   TITUSVILLE HAS NO GOURMET RESTAURANTS.  WE JUST HAVE ROCKETS BLASTING OFF.  AFTER TWO OR THREE MORE SHUTTLE LAUNCHES THAT WILL END TOO.
                                SO I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO WRITE CHICK LIT ASTRONAUT ROMANCE NOVELS TO GET PUBLISHED.  A TALL DARK ALIEN WILL LAND IN A TITUSVILLE SWAMP AND BE NURSED BACK TO HEALTH BY AN ASTRONAUT'S WIFE.  THE ASTRONAUT WILL BE ON A 7 YEAR VOYAGE TO AN ASTEROID OR A MARS.  THE WIFE WILL MATE WITH THE ALIEN JUST BEFORE HE DISINTEGRATES FROM OVER EXPOSURE TO THE BLISTERING FLORIDA SUN.  UH OH HE FORGOT SUN BLOCK THAT DAY.  COPPERTONE STRIKES AGAIN.
                           WHEN THE ASTRONAUT RETURNS AFTER 14 YEARS,HE FINALLY MEETS HIS  7FT 2INCH TEENAGE SON WHO IS ON THE FLORIDA STATE BASKETBALL TEAM AND BEING SCOUTED BY THE NBA.   HE'D ONLY SEEN HIM IN PICTURES AND VIDEO SINCE HIS WIFE HAD USED IN VITRO FERTILIZATION WITH HIS STORED SPERM A YEAR OR TWO AFTER HE BLASTED OFF.  ODDLY HIS TALL SON WAS DARK EVEN THOUGH THE ASTRONAUT WAS A BLONDE.
                      THE ROMANCE WITH THE DECEASED ALIEN WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED .  UNFORTUNATELY THE NCAA INTRODUCED A NEW DNA BLOOD TEST TO DETERMINE IF GENETIC ENGINEERING HAD CREATED THIS GIGANTIC PLAYER.
                        THE ASTRONAUT HUSBAND WAS FORCED TO HIJACK A ROCKET AND FLY HIS TALL STEPSON BACK TO  HIS SPACE STATION HOME BEYOND MARS.  HE WOULD BE AN OLD MAN WHEN HE RETURNED TO EARTH AND OF COURSE WOULD BE IN PRISON FOR ROCKET THEFT.

COME FLY WITH ME

                              THE ASTRONAUT'S WIFE WOULD BE ALONE WITH HER MEMORIES UNTIL ANOTHER ALIEN LANDED IN HER BEDROOM.  SURPRISE.  HE WAS TALL AND DARK TOO.

BEACHES

                        BEACHES CALM BITCHES AND BASTARDS TOO.  WHY DON'T PEOPLE GOT TO THE BEACH?  INSTEAD THEY SIT GLUED TO THE TELEVISION AND NOWADAYS THE INTERNET.   PEOPLE MOVE TO PARADISE AND THEN IGNORE IT.  THEIR ONLY MELLOW NATURE EXPERIENCE IS WHEN THEY ARE ON POT.   BEACHSIDE THERE ARE ARRESTS LEFT AND RIGHT FOR DRUGS.  
                         IF YOU LIVE IN AN UGLY PLACE WITH AIR POLLUTION AND CRIME,DRUGS ARE UNDERSTANDABLE.  BUT IN PARADISE WHY?  THE ANSWER ONLY THE RIGHT BRAINED CAN GROOVE IN NATURE WITHOUT AID FROM DRUGS.  I GUESS.  OR WE LIVING THE LIFE WE WWERE TAUGHT BY OUR STRUGGLING PARENTS WHO HAD TO SLAVE FOR A LIVING IN FACTORIES OR AS SERVANTS AND MAIDS?
                            THE MODT SUCCESSFUL TV AND MOVIE ACTORS HAVE TO GO INTO REHAB FOR DRUGS AND ALCOHOL.  THEY LIVE IN LOS ANGELES.  THEY ARE IN BEVERLY HILLS OR MALIBU NOT COMPTON OR INGLEWOOD WHERE YOU CAN BE SHOT IN THE HEAD AT ANY WAKING MOMENT.  YOUR ONLY CAREER OPTION THERE IS DRUG DEALER.
                               CHRIST DIED FOR OUR SINS AND THOSE OF OUR FATHERS TOO.  THERE IS NO NEED ESPECIALLY BY THE RICH AND MIDDLE CLASS TO RESORT TO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL.  YET THEY DO.  OFTEN THE DRUGS ARE PRESCRIBED FOR PHYSICAL OR MENTAL PAIN.  ANYTHING EXCEPT CLINICAL DEPRESSIKON CAN BE CURED BY A WALK ON THE BEACH FOR 20 MINUTES OR AROUND THE BLOCK.
                                 OXYCONTIN WAS DEVELOPED FOR CANCER PATIENTS IN EXCRUTIATING PAIN DURING THEIR FINAL DAYS.  LESS ADDICITIVE DRUGS CAN BE PRESCRIBED FOR PEOPLE HAVING A BROKEN LEG OR WRIST REPAIRED.  YET OXYCONTIN IS GIVEN AND MANY PEOPLE BECOME HOOKED.   SOME PHARMACISTS WILL NOT KEEP IT IN THEIR DRUG STORE BECAUSE THEY ARE FEARFUL OF BEING ROBBED AT GUNPOINT BY AN ADDICT.  THEY SAY LESS ADDICTIVE DRUGS SHOULD BE PRESCRIBED.   OXYCONTIN IS AS ADDICTIVE AS HEROINE.

MY CASTLE IN THE SAND

                                         SO I WENT TO THE BEACH.  IT WAS GLORIOUS AT SUNSET ON A WARM 80 DEGREE FEBRUARY DAY IN FLORIDA.   NO ONE WAS THERE.  HOPEFULLY THEY WERE BACK HOME AND HAPPY.  IF NOT-COME TO THE BEACH OR THE PARK OR DOWNTOWN OR THE EXERCISE CLUB OR POOL OR SOMEPLACE OHER THAN A DEAD ZONE. 

Self-restraint

WICKED GOOD SUNSET PHOTO OF THE SPACE SHUTTLE ON THE LAUNCH PAD AT KSC

RED Z CLUNKER THAT BROKE DOWN IN NY.  SO WE LEFT IN MASSACHUSETTS AND FLEW TO FLORIDA

A BLAST FROM TITUSVILLE,FLORIDA

WICKED SHAME TO MISS A LAUNCH IN TITUSVILLE ON THE SHORES OF THE INDIAN RIVER

CLUNKER NEEDS $900 TIRES-THAT'S ALMOST WHAT WE PAID FOR IT

NEW CLUNKER-BROKE DOWN 4 TIMES FROM BOSTON TO FLORIDA.

                      MY HOROSCOPE SAYS I MUST STOP OVER-INDULGENCE AND PRACTICE SELF-RESTRAINT TODAY.  SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW.  I USUALLY GO ON A SPENDING SPREE DURING THE FULL MOON.  OFTEN IT'S A HOUSE OR A BROKEN DOWN CAR.  WE BUY A CLUNKER HOUSE OR CAR EVERY YEAR UNTIL THE ECONOMIC CRASH OCCURRED IN 2008,  NOW WE WEAKEN AND FORGET OUR BLOOD PACT TO NEVER BUY AN ANCIENT RUSTED GAS FUME SPEWING CLUNKER.  BUT WE WEAKEN AND JUST DO IT.
                             IT'S WICKED.  I MEAN I'LL SEE THE MUSICAL "WICKED" IN ORLANDO ON FEBRUARY 24TH.  THE CURTAIN WILL GO DOWN JUST AS THE DISCOVERY SHUTTLE BLASTS OFF FROM THE KENNEDY SPACE CENTER FOR ITS LAST CURTAIN CALL INTO SPACE.  IT'S A BIG DAY IN TITUSVILLE, FLORIDA AND I'LL MISS IT.  UNLESS THEY SAY "HOUSTON,WE HAVE A PROBLEM."  AND IT DOESN'T BLAST OFF UNTIL THE NEXT DAY.    HOPEFULLY WE'LL SEE IT THEN.
                               IT'S BEEN GORGEOUS LATELY-ALMOST 80,SUNNY AND DRY.  THE BEACH YESTERDAY IN INDIAN HARBOR BEACH WAS GLORIOUS.  ALL THE ROCKS ALONG THE SHORE WERE EXPOSED.  A SURFER WAS RIDING WAVES OUT BEYOND THEM.    THE WATER IS STILL COLD SO YOU DIDN'T FEEL BAD ABOUT NOT GOING IN BECAUSE OF THE ROCKS.
                                 WE HAD A BIG BARBECUE WITH RIBS,CHICKEN,EGG PLANT PARMESAN.AND SPAGHETTI WITH KEY LIME PIE FOR DESSERT.  THE MEN COOKED AND HAD IT ALL TIMES LIKE A SHUTTLE LAUNCH COUNTDOWN.  SO I OVERINDULGED AT DINNER NOT BUYING A HOUSE OR CLUNKER.
                                    MY WICKED KARMA HAS ME IN ORLANDO DURING THE SPACE SHUTTLE DISCOVERY LAUNCH INSTEAD OF TITUSVILLE.  SO MY STARS ARE NOT QUITE ALLIGNED PROPERLY .  C'EST LA VIE.
       

                               MERDE!   THEY CAN FLY A MAN TO THE MOON BUT CAN'T  FIX  A   FORD.

RISING OF THE MOON

                     TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT WHEN THE FULL MOON RISES OVER THE INDIAN RIVER JUST AFTER SUNSET.  IF CLEAR IT WILL BE A GIGANTIC ORANGE BALL RISING NEAR THE KENNEDY SPACE CENTER'S VEHICLE ASSEMBLY BUILDING.  IT WAS WHITE AND  BRIGHT AT 10 PM OVER THE 6TH GREEN LAST NIGHT. 
                        TODAY IS A LITTLE HAZY SO WE'LL SEE HOW VISIBLE THE MOON IS AT SUNSET LATER TODAY.  THERE WAS DENSE FOG EARLY IN THE MORNING TODAY BUT MOST OF IT HAS BURNED OFF. 
                               THE MOON WAS A BEAUTIFUL MUTED ORANGE OVER MY POOL ABOUT A HALF HOUR AFTER SUNSET LAST NIGHT.  IT WAS ALREADY UP.  SO THAT'S THE MOON GLOW REPORT FOR THIS MONTH.  OUR CALEDAR IS BASED ON THE MOON'S PHASES-28 DAYS.  SO THIS IS ALL NOT LOONEY TUNES.

FLY ME TO THE MOON

                                  IT MUST HAVE BEEN MOON GLOW.  WE'LL SEE.   OR IS IT JUST DEJA-VU ALL OVER AGAIN?  GOT YOGI?

PHOTOS

HUDSON RIVER LIGHTHOUSES

BUTTERFLIES ARE FREE

FOLLOW THE ROOSTER

LAST WEEKEND THERE WAS A QUILT SHOW AT THE BREVARD COMMUNITY COLLEGE IN TITUSVILLE,FLORIDA.  THIS IS JUST A SAMPLING OF THE AMAZING QUILTS FROM ALL AROUND THE USA HOSTED BY THE SPACE COAST QUILTERS.

EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER

                                         THE DEMOLITON AND RENOVATION OF THE HURSTON HOME ON MERRITT ISLAND NEAR COCOA,FLORIDA WAS DEFINITELY EXTREME.  THEY DEMOLISHED THEIR WATER DAMAGED ROTTING HOME AND BUILT A CBS(CEMENT BLOCK) HOME IN A WEEK.  THAT WAS EXTREME.
                                             ABC SENT THE HURSTONS TO SAN DIEGO TO THE ZOO ETC. FOR A WEEK.  THEY PUT THE BODY OF A 737 IN THE FRONT ENTRANCE OF THE NEW HOUSE.  IT ALMOST KNOCKED DOWN THE FOUNDATION BUT JUST SQUEEZED IN.  THEY PUT SWIRLING TEA CUPS LIKE AT DISNEY WORLD IN THE LITTLE ADOPTED HAITIAN GIRL'S BEDROOM.  THE 17 YEAR OLD ADOPTED HAITIAN GIRL'S ROOM WAS WALL PAPERED IN NEWS ARTICLES ABOUT THE HURSTONS' WORK FLYING CLEAN WATER PURIFIERS TO REMOTE VILLAGES IN HAITI. SHE WANTS TO BE A JOURNALIST OR TELEVISION NEWSCASTER.   THE HURTSON' 13 YEAR OLD SURFER/ROCKER'S ROOM WAS LIKE A BEACH SCENE WITH A BANDSTAND.   THE NEARBY KENNEDY SPACE CENTER WAS REPRESENTED IN AN IMAGINARY BLAST OFF OF THE DEMOLISHED ORIGINAL HURSTON HOME INTO SPACE.  THEY HAD TO LIVE IN THEIR MOBILE HOME FOR THE LAST YEAR UNTIL THEY FOUND TIME TO FIX THEIR HOUSE WHICH HAD BEEN DAMAGED BY A PIPE BURSTING WHILE THEY WERE IN HAITI.
                                              THE EXTREME MAKEOVER SHOW BEGAN WITH THE RESTORED TICO BELLE WORLD WAR TWO AIRPLANE FROM THE TITUSVILLE WAR BIRD MUSEUM BEING USED TO FLY TY PENNINGTON AND THE OTHER STAR RENOVATION TEAM INTO FLORIDA TO MEET THE THE HURSTONS.  IT HAS TAKEN 10 OR 20 YEARS FOR THE VOLUNTEERS AT THE WAR BIRD MUSEUM TO RESTORE THE PLANE.  THE FIRST TIME THEY FLEW IT A FEW YEARS AGO, IT CRASHED A MINUTE OR TWO LATER.  THEN IT WAS BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD FOR MORE WORK ON HOW TO FIX IT PLUS FUND RAISERS TO OBTAIN MONEY FOR MAJOR REPAIRS.  NOW IT LOOKS GREAT.
                                                       THE BEST PART OF THE SHOW WERE HURSTONS.  THE SHOW COMPLETELY MODERNIZED THEIR SMALL PLANE.  BANK OF AMERICA GAVE $100,000 TO SUPPORT THEIR MISSION WHICH IS TO FLY WATER PURIFIERS INTO HAITI AND OTHER PLACES WITH CONTAMINATED WATER.  MANY MORE PURIFIERS CAN NOW BE SUPPLIED TO THE HAITIANS AND OTHERS.

MERRITT ISLAND KENNEDY SPACE CENTER AS SEEN FROM TITUSVILLE,FLORIDA

-

EXPECT MIRACLES

                                                         JUSTIN BIEBER WAS ON THE SHOW LAST WEEK.  IT WAS ALL OVER TWITTER.  THJIS WEEK HE WAS AT THE GRAMMYS.  BUT ANYONE WITHOUT BIEBER FEVER WAS WATCHING THE HURSTONS RECEIVE A JUSTLY DESERVED REWARD FOR THE YEARS OF SACRIFICE FLYING IN HELP TO THOSE SUFFERING FROM NATURAL DISASTER, POVERTY OR DISEASE.

MICK JAGGER AT THE GRAMMIES(AND GRAMPIES)

                           MICK STRUTTED HIS STUFF FOR A LONG TIME SHOWING ALL HIS FELLOW BABY BOOMERS HOW TO STAY THIN.  HE  WAS PENCIL THIN,CRYSTAL METH THIN,IRISH-ENGLISH THIN AND DETERMINED TO PUT ON A SHOW  IN TRIBUTE TO A BLUES LEGEND WHO WAS QUINTUPLE HIS SIZE AND NOW DECEASED.  IT WAS LIGHT YEARS AHEAD OF THE SCREAMING GARAGE BAND FROM MONTREAL THAT RECEIVED ALBUM OF THE YEAR.
                          THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR WAS LIKE ABBA ON STEROIDS.  IT WAS DEVOID OF SOUL EXCEPT FOR THE LADY DRUMMER.  I DOUBT THAT WAS GENUINE RHYTHM.   IT WAS LOUD AND ANNOYING REQUIRING FLASHING STOBE LIGHTS TO LIVEN IT UP.
                              EVERYONE NEEDED A GIMMICK TO PUT ON A SHOW.  JUSTIN BIEBER  (from Canada too) NEEDED DANCERS TO SOMERSAULT OVER HIM TO PUT ON A SHOW.  MICK JAGGER MADE HIS OWN FLASHES AND DANCES ALL OVER THE STAGE.
                                 SO NASHVILLE WITH NO COUNTRY FEELING AND CANADA WITH NO SOUL  HAVE TAKEN OVER MUSIC.  THEY HAD TO IMPORT USHER FROM ATLANTA TO  FUNK UP JUSTIN.   WE DON'T WANT EITHER.
                                   GRUNGE BANDS, OR WHAT EVER THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR IS, 

 ARE JUST CANADIANS SCREAMING BECAUSE IT'S SO COLD IN THE GARAGE OR BASEMENT WHERE THEY PRACTICE.  O CANADA!  COME TO FLORIDA LIKE YOUR GRANDPARENTS AND WARM UP.  GET SOME RHYTHM,SOUL,HEART,FEELING AND STOP PLAYING MUSIC LIKE YOUR AT AN ICE HOCKEY GAME.

MICK JAGGER ON STAGE

                                    THE BRITISH INVASION WAS THE DAY THE MUSIC DIED.  I DON'T MEANSIMON (IT'S A BUSINESS) SCOWELL.    SO IT'S BY, BY MISS AMERICAN PIE.  CANADA HAS TAKEN OVER AND IT'S QUEBECOIS.  MERDE!                            

BLACK LIKE ME

PROPER BEHAVIOR ON ALL HOLIDAYS INCLUDING MLK DAY

                           I KNEW HER ROMANCE WITH A 50 CENTS,THE BLACK RAPPER WAS OVER WHEN I SAW HER ON TELEVISION FROM HAWAII WITH NO MAKEUP AND STRINGY BLONDE HAIR.  CHELSEA HANDLER WAS NOT AT HER SHOW BECAUSE SHE DECIDED TO STAY IN HONOLULU WITH MR. 50 CENTS.  TWO BLACK PEOPLE SAT ON EITHER SIDE OF THE COMEDIAN LIKE BOOKENDS.  CHELSEA SAID SHE'D DONE ENOUGH FOR BLACK PEOPLE AND WAS TAKING THE BLACK HOLIDAY OFF.  FIFTY CENTS SOUNDED SO NICE WHEN HE SPOKE.  I FELT SORRY FOR HIM TO BE WITH THAT SCRAGGILY NASTY GIRL WHO COULDN'T EVEN LOOK GOOD WHEN WITH HIM.
                              SURE ENOUGH THE INTERRACIAL ROMANCE WAS OVER.  CHELSEA IS VERY FUNNY BUT EXTREMELY NASTY TO ALL PEOPLE, RACES AND GENDERS.  SHE DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE.  JUST LIKE HOWARD STERN IF SHE FINDS A WEAKNESS, SHE LEAPS AND TEARS THE PERSON'S EGO TO SHREDS.
                                   ALL THE PEOPLE ON HER CHELSEA LATELY SHOW KISS UP TO HER BECAUSE THEY NEED THE MONEY.  THANK HEAVENS FIFTY CENTS WITH THE PLEASANT VOICE STOPPED PLAYING  THAT GAME.   ROSA PARKS WOULDN'T TAKE IT AND HOPEFULLY 50 CENTS WOULDN'T EITHER.

                                    NOW HE CAN CHANGE HIS NAME TO A MILLION DOLLARS.  WHY NOT PUFF DADDY IS ALWAYS CHANGING HIS NAME.

GOLFING

6TH HOLE-OUR BACKYARD

                        I PLAYED 4 HOLES WITH MY NEW $400 A MONTH AND USUALLY $800 AFTER MEALS AND PARTIES FAMILY GOLF MEMBERSHIP.   SO THAT MINI ROUND COST ME $200 DOLLARS A HOLE.  ACTUALLY IT WAS $100 PER HOLE BECAUSE MY HUSBAND PLAYED TOO.  MAYBE WE COULD QUICKLY ADOPT 8 KIDS.  THEN IT WOULD BE $10 A HOLE.
                           ANYWAY I PLAYED AND WAS NO WORSE THAN I WAS WHEN I WAS 21 AND USED TO PLAY GOLF ON WEEKENDS ON A PUBLIC COURSE.  YOU ALWAYS HAD A GALLERY BECAUSE 2 OR 3 FOURSOMES WERE WAITING TO TEE OFF.  USUALLY WHOMEVER WE PLAYED WITH WOULD PUT THEIR ARMS AROUND ME AND GIVE ME A GOLF LESSON.  THAT USUALLY MADE ME WORSE. 
                               I ALWAYS PLAYED WITH MY FATHER WHO TOOK UP GOLF AFTER HE GAVE UP DRINKING AND AFTER WE HAD ALL GROWN UP.  LUCKILY HE NEVER TOOK UP BOOZE AGAIN EVEN THOUGH MY GOLFING WAS ATROCIOUS.  I HAD NO IDEA YOU SHOULD PRACTICE.  I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU COULD OR COULDN'T PLAY WELL.
                               MY FATHER WAS VERY PATIENT, NEVER EXASPERATED ABOUT MY GOLF OR ANYBODY ELSE'S.  HE WAS NEVER IN A RUSH.  HE ALWAYS PLAYED ON SATURDAYS IN THE AFTERNOON. I NEVER PLAYED MORE THAN 9 HOLES.  WE ALWAYS WALKED.  I WAS PERPETUALLY HUNGRY AND COULDN'T WAIT TO HAVE A PEANUT BUTTER FILLED YELLOW CHEESE CRACKER AT THE SNACK BAR ON THE 5TH HOLE.

THE COURSE AT SUNRISE WHEN THE MOWING AND BLOWING BEGINS-ACTUALLY BEFORE DAWN BECAUSE THE MOWERS HAVE LIGHTS

                                  THE PAR 5 WAS EXHAUSTING.  I HAD TO HIT THE BALL A ZILLION TIMES TO GET TO THE HOLE.  STILL WE PLAYED EVERY WEEK UNTIL I MET MY TENNIS PLAYING BOYFRIEND.  THEN GOLF WAS FINISHED AND TENNIS WAS MY NEW SPORT.  TENNIS WAS MORE FUN,COULD BE DONE INDOORS  AND HAD ATTRACTIVE OUTFITS TO WEAR.  EVERY YEAR WE WENT TO THE US OPEN IN NEW YORK FOR A WEEK.  PAT SUMMERALL WAS THERE UNBEKNOWNST TO ME HIGH ON PAIN PILLS FOR A N OLD FOOTBALL INJURY.  THE OPEN WAS LONG AND TIRING.  I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW PAT COULD SIT THERE FOR OURS BROADCASTING THE TENNIS TOURNAMENT.  YEARS LATER WHEN PAT ANNOUNCED HE WAS GOING INTO REHAB WE FOUND OUT HE WAS HOOKED ON PAIN PILLS.
                                      MY TENNIS LOVER LOVER TIRED OF ME AS HE TIRED OF EVERYTHING.  HE NEVER MARRIED.  SO I  MARRIED A GOLF ADDICT.  WE WENT TO BERMUDA TO PLAY GOLF ON OUR HONEYMOON.  EACH DAY WE WE WENT TO  A DIFFERENT COURSE ON OUR MOPEDS.  I YEARNED FOR A PINK SAND  BEACH  BUT GOT SAND TRAPS INSTEAD.
                                       NOW IN OUR RETIREMENT YEARS WE LIVE ON THE SIXTH HOLE OF A BEAUTIFUL IF NOT NOISY FROM CONSTANT MAINTENANCE PRIVATE GOLF COURSE WHERE WE RARELY PLAY.  W JOINED THE OTHER DAY BECAUSE IT MIGHT REVERT BACK TO THE GRASSY FIELDS IT WAS BEFORE THE COURSE WAS BUILT IN THE 1980'S.  SO GOLF WE MUST BECAUSE OUR CAUSE IS JUST.

EVERY DAY

A ROCK

                                JANE FONDA SAYS YOU MUST EXERCISE EVERYDAY.  ANNE LAMOTT SAYS YOU MUST WRITE EVERY DAY.  JOHN HALLIDAY SAYS YOU MUST DRAW AND PAINT EVERY DAY.  IT'S BEST TO DO THEM FIRST THING.  HOW CAN YOU?
                               WHAT ABOUT EAT,PRAY,LOVE?  WHERE DOES THAT FIT IN?  WHEN DO YOU JUST HAVE A ZEN MOMENT?  I GUESS WHEN YOU'RE DOING THESE THINGS.  I GUESS IT BEATS HEAVY DRINKING AND DRUGS.
                                 ANNE LAMOTT'S WRITER FATHER DIED AT 55.  HE WROTE EVERY DAY STARTING AT 6 A.M..  AT 12, HE WOULD READ THE PAPER WITH HIS WIFE AND HAVE LUNCH.  THEN IT WAS BACK TO WRITING.  SHE DIVORCED HIM AND LEFT HIM WITH THE KIDS.  ANN LAMOTT WAS MORTIFIED THAT AN ARTICLE IN THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER TOLD ABOUT HOW HER FATHER DRANK AND SMOKED POT WITH HIS FRIENDS.  SHE WISHED SHE COULD HAVE A CONVENTIONAL FAMILY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE SHE KNEW.
                                      HER HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER READ AN ARTICLE HER FATHER WROTE TO THE ENGLISH CLASS.  IT SAID THAT CALIFORNIA IS TOO LEISURE ORIENTED AND THAT'S WHY PEOPLE LEAD SUCH POINTLESS LIVES.

AND A HARD SPACE

                                         ANNE LAMOTT SAYS HAVE A WRITING SCHEDULE,WRITE SHORT ASSIGNMENTS AND THEN REWRITE,REWRITE,REWRITE.  THAT'S THE SECRET.  YOU'LL GET PUBLISHED WHEN YOU'RE READY TO BE PUBLISHED.  HER WRITING STUDENTS JUST STARE AT HER IN RESPONSE.

COKE VS. PEPSI

COKE,PRAY,LOVE

                     COKE WON AT THE SUPER BOWL OF ADVERTISING.  COKE'S ADS PROMOTED PEACE,LOVE AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.  PEPSI'S ADS PROMOTED VIOLENCE, WOMEN AS SEX OBJECTS, AND HITTING BELOW THE BELT AS AN AMUSING ACCIDENT.

                      THE SUPER BOWL BEGAN WITH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, THEN AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL WITH CROWN THY GOOD WITH BROTHERHOOD FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA,THE MANGLED WORDS OF THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER AND AT HALF TIME THE BLACK EYED PEAS WITH A NEON SIGN LIGHTED STAGE PROFESSING LOVE IN RED LIGHTS.  PEPSI WAS THE ONLY EXCEPTION TO PEACE LOVE AND BROTHERHOOD EXCEPT FOR THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS SMACKING EACH OTHER AROUND.  SO PEPSI WITH ITS VIOLENCE AND DEGRADING OF OTHERS TRULY REFLECTED AMERICA'S OFFICIAL PAST TIME.
                       SO YOU TAKE THE HIGH ROAD AND I'LL TAKE THE LOW ROAD AND I'LL MAKE MORE MONEY ON SUPER BOWL ADS THAN YOU DO.  HOPEFULLY COKE WHO TOOK THE HIGH ROAD WILL WIN THE ADVERTISING BATTLE.

SIGHT OF 2011 SUPER BOWL ARLINGTON,TEXAS

                       C'MON OBAMA GET US SOME JOBS SAID THE BLACK EYED PEAS.  MEANWHILE THE PACKERS  AND STEELERS HAVE BOTH BEEN OUTSOURCED TO CHINA OR MEXICO OR SOME OTHER PLACE WHERE WORKERS ARE EXPLOITED SO THE RICH CAN GET RICHER.  HOW PRESIDENT OBAMA COULD ASSOCIATE HIMSELF WITH O'REILLY AND FOX NEWS IS BEYOND ME.  POLITICS MAKE STRANGE BEDFELLOWS.  FOX LET'S GLENN BECK SPREAD HIS BIGOTRY INCLUDING THAT ISLAM PLANS TO TAKE OVER AMERICA.    YOU'RE A BETTER MAN THAN ME PRESIDENT OBAMA.

                          COCA COLA WON THE SODA WAR BECAUSE THEY HAVE CLASS.  WHO KNEW?
DRINK COKE NOT WAR.  COKE PRAY LOVE.
                     THE CORRECTIONS:  ACTUALLY IT WAS TELEFLORA NOT PEPSI WHO WAS SEXIST WITH FAITH HILL'S SON SENDING A VALENTINE MESSAGE WITHA BOUQUET OF FLOWERS TO HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND THAT SAID  "NICE RACK!".  SO PEPSI WAS JUST VIOLENT AND IF SEXIST IT WAS A BLACK WOMAN THROWING A CAN OF PEPSI AT HER HUSBAND BECAUSE HE LOOKED AT A PRETTY BLONDE ON THE NEXT BENCH IN THE PARK.  MAYBE THAT WAS RACIST TOO.  BUT WHO IS COUNTING?  OH ME!

TO HECK WITH GLENN BECK

                         FIFTY PERCENT OF AMERICANS GET THEIR NEWS FROM FOX NEWS.  HOPEFULLY NOT ALL OF THEM  ARE  WATCHING GLENN BECK OR BUYING HIS MEIN KEMPF BOOKS.  HIS LATEST TIRADE WAS ABOUT HOW MUSLIMS OR ISLAM IS GOING TO TAKE OVER AMERICA.  HOW MANY MUSLIMS ARE IN AMERICA?  HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY TAKE OVER?   HAVEN'T WE ALREADY BEEN TAKEN OVER BY THE ARAB SHEIKS WHO CONTROL OUR OIL SUPPLY?  I GUESS THEY AREN'T MUSLIMS JUST GOOD CAPITALIST FRIENDS.  BECK SAYS THE US COMMUNISTS ARE ALLYING WITH ISLAM.
                        WHO IS FUNDING GLENN BECK?  THE SHEIKS, ISRAEL, THE OIL CARTEL, US OIL INTERESTS, CRUSADING CHRISTIANS, THE CIA, RUPERT MURDOCH, THE TEA PARTY,OR THOSE EARNING OVER $250,000 WHO WANTED TO KEEP THEIR TAX BREAK?   WHAT IS FOX NEWS' WORLD GOVERNMENT PLAN?
                          FOX STOPPED TARGETING DEMOCRATS AFTER THE ASTRONAUT'S WIFE WAS SHOT BY A CRAZED FANATIC ( INDUBITABLY FUELED BY RADICAL ISLAM-NOT!).  BUT IT'S STILL OPEN SEASON IN THE USA ON  MUSLIMS!
                            WHERE DID GLENN BECK GO TO COLLEGE?  AT MY STATE UNIVERSITY WE LEARNED ALL ABOUT OTHER CULTURES AND RELIGIONS-INDIA,PAKISTAN AND JAPAN.  WE STUDIED THE HINDU.\,BHUDDIST,MUSLIM,AND SHINTO RELIGIONS.  WE WERE NEVER TOLD TO DISDAIN OR FEAR THEM OR SEE THEM AS A THREAT TO OUR CULTURE.

                              WHERE IS THIS FEAR MONGERING COMING FROM AND WHY?  WE HAVE ONE REAL FEAR IN THIS WORLD-THE ATOM BOMB.   THAT'S IT GLENN.  THE A-BOMB,H-BOMB AND ANY MANIAC WITH HIS FINGER ON THE BUTTON.

COFFEE PAJAMMAS

VIEW FROM THE SIXTH GREEN

 

                       MY NEW RED FLANNEL PAJAMAS HAVE ZEBRA,CHEETAH, AND LEOPARD COVERED COFFEE CUPS ON THEM WITH SAYINGS LIKE CAPUCCINO,ESPRESSO, CAFE AU LAIT, DEMI-TASSE, COFFEE NERVES, COFFEE, COFFEE JUNKIE AND LATTE LOVERS EXCLUDED INTERSPERSED ON THE MATERIAL.  I GUESS THEY ARE FROM SEATTLE'S BEST,DUNKIN' DONUTS, OR STARBUCKS FASHION LINE FOR AT HOME ENTERTAINING. SO I'M OFF FOR MY COFFEE BREAK.  ACTUALLY BEING RETIRED IS ONE BIG COFFEE BREAK.  EVERY DAY IS SATURDAY. 

GROUNDHOG DAY

          " I DON'T CARE IF IT RAINS OR FREEZES AS LONG AS I HAVE MY PLASTIC JESUS RIDING ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR", AS IMUS USED TO SING IN NYC BEFORE HE GOT POLITICAL.   " I'VE SEEN THE GROUNDHOG AND THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR IT SELF." TO QUOTE IMUS' BRITISH COUSIN WINSTON CHURCHILL.
              IT'S TROPICAL CURRENTLY IN CENTRAL FLORIDA AS THE SNOWSTORM UP NORTH HEADS EAST TO NYC AND BOSTON.  "C'MON DOWN," AS THE FLORIDA COMMERCIAL OF YESTERYEAR USED TO SHOUT.  "SEE THE USA IN YOUR CHEVROLET(WE HAD NO JAPANESE CARS THEN.  REMEMBER PEARL HARBOR WAS STILL ON EVERYONE'S LIPS.) AMERICA IS ASKING YOU TO CALL,"SANG DINAH SHORE EACH WEEK ON TV.
               THOSE WERE THE GOOD OLD DAYS OF FREE ENTERPRISE WHEN YOU VISITED YOUR NEW FLORIDA PROPERTY, IT WAS A SWAMP.  NOW IT'S  STILL UNDERWATER BUT WITH AN OVERPRICED MORTGAGE.  SO C'MON DOWN, GOVERNOR SCOTT WILL UNVEIL THE NEW FLORIDA STATE BUDGET AT A TEA PARTY IN EUSTIS.  SO THE GOOD OL' BOYS ARE IN CHARGE AGAIN.  NEXT YEAR IT WILL BE AT A KKK CONVENTION.  THE LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR CARROLL WHO IS NEVER SEEN OR HEARD WON'T ATTEND.

UNDER WATER BUT STILL FOR SALE

                    SO THE SUN SHINES IN THE SUN SHINE STATE IN SPITE OF MOST REAL ESTATE BEING UNDER WATER (FINANCIALLY).  SEND FEMA.  WE NEED A BAIL OUT!!!!!

SPUTNIK MOMENT

THE CAMERA FLASHED ON FORMER ASTRONAUT AND NOW SENATOR BILL NELSON AS PRESIDENT OBAMA CALLED FOR ANOTHER SPUTNIK MOMENT TO ENLIVEN INNOVATION AND US INGENUITY.  THAT WAS INSULT TO INJURY.  THE US GOVERNMENT HAS OUTSOURCED ANY FUTURE ASTRONAUTS FROM BLASTING OFF TO THE RUSSIAN(I  MEAN INTERNATIONAL) SPACE STATION.  6,000 KENNEDY SPACE CENTER WORKERS WILL LOSE THEIR JOBS THIS YEAR.  THE CENTRAL FLORIDA BUT ESPECIALLY TITUSVILLE ECONOMY WILL SUFFER ENORMOUSLY.

DETROIT AND WALL STREET WERE SAVED WITH OUR TAX MONEY.  THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST SPACE FLIGHT JOBS ARE BEING OUT SOURCED TO RUSSIA OR TO PRIVATE ENTERPRISES WHO CAN'T EVEN RUN AN AIRLINE PROFITABLY.  PRIVATE SPACE FLIGHT WILL BE IN NEW MEXICO AND CALIFORNIA.  ONLY SPACE X IS IN FLORIDA AND BARELY.  MOST OF THEIR EMPLOYEES ARE IN CALIFORNIA.

THE WOUNDED ARIZONA CONGRESSWOMAN GIFFORDS' BROTHER-IN-LAW KELLY IS AT THE SPACE STATION NOW.  HER HUSBAND KELLY'S TWIN BROTHER IS SCHEDULED TO BLAST OFF IN ATLANTIS IN APRIL 2011.  WHAT WE NEED ARE MORE KELLY MOMENTS WHERE THE US CONTINUES TO ADVANCE IN SPACE.

A TITUSVILLE,FLORIDA MOMENT

HOW THE US DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT SPUTNIK IS BEYOND ME.  HOW THEY DON'T KNOW THAT WE MUST CONTINUE TO EXPLORE SPACE AND CREATE MORE SPUTNIK MOMENTS IN THE USA INSTEAD OF OUTSOURCING THEM TO RUSSIA IS BEYOND BELIEF.  THE IDEA THAT PRIVATE ENTERPRISE CAN DO IT IS LUDICROUS.  A RECENT BOARD OF EXPERTS MADE THAT SAME DETERMINATION A FEW WEEKS AGO.  IT WAS HIDDEN ON PAGE 6 OF FLORIDA TODAY(OR SHOULD WE SAY FLORIDA YESTERDAY?).

Napoli-Juventus=3-0 CAVANI terzo gol di TACCO Auriemma

Thats amore Dean Martin

FUEL TO THE FIRE-TEA FOR TWO

                           BAD ENOUGH A BALD MEDICARE SWINDLER WAS ELECTED FLORIDA GOVERNOR.  NOW THE EX-CON WILL UNVEIL THE STATE BUDGET AT A TEA PARTY EVENT IN EUSTIS SOON.  I HOPE THE SAME CRAZIES AND ANARCHISTS THAT I SAW AT A TEA PARTY RALLY NEAR DAYTONA LAST YEAR WON'T BE THERE.
                          THE TEA PARTY IS FULL TO THE TOP OF THE TEA POT WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN BIG GOVERNMENT OR TAXES.  ACTUALLY MOST OF THEM ARE ANARCHISTS WHO BELIEVE IN NO GOVERNMENT,TAXES OR LAWS.  THEY PREFER THE WILD WEST AND EARLY AMERICANA DAYS WHEN A MAN COULD TAKE A GUN AND SOLVE HIS OWN PROBLEMS.
                             ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? IS THEIR MOTTO.  I'VE SEEN THEM PROUDLY DISPLAYING GUNS ATTACHED TO THE FRAME OF THEIR BED IN CASE OF A HOME INVASION.  I HOPE MR. HEALTHCARE WHO GREW UP IN KANSAS CITY PUBLIC HOUSING FOR A WHILE WILL BE PACKING.  WE CERTAINLY WANT TO REDUCE THE TAX MONEY NEEDED TO PROTECT HIM.  I'M SURE A PRIVATE SECURITY FORCE LIKE JOHN GOTTI HAD WILL BE PERFECT FOR MR. I AM THE GOVERNOR BUT BELIEVE IN NO GOVERNMENT EXPENDITURES.  GOVERNOR SCOTT USES HIS OWN PLANE PAID FOR BY CHEATING MEDICARE OUT OF MILLIONS.  THAT'S FREE CAPITALISM FOR YOU.

LAND OF ANARCHY

               SO IT'S A TEA PARTY VENUE TO ANNOUNCE THE FLORIDA STATE BUDGET.  SHOCKING!!!   NEXT YEAR INDUBITABLY IT WILL BE A KU KLUX KLAN RALLY.
               

THE KING'S SPEECH

MONA LISA BLUSHING AFTER HEARING THE KING'S SPEECH WHILE MEN BELOW DREAM OF NYC PIZZA

                          THE KING FATHER TO THE PRESENT QUEEN ELIZABETH SWORE LIKE A RAP STAR WHILE HE WAS ATTEMPTING TO OVERCOME HIS STAMMER.  WHEN HE PRACTICED HIS FIRST SPEECH SIMILAR TO CHURCHILL'S:"ALL WE HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF", THE KING OF ENGLAND INTERSPERSED HIS WORDS WITH THE F-BOMB TO AVOID STAMMERING. 
                               MAYBE A SCHOOL VERSION COULD BE MADE FOR SPEECH CLASSES.  THE FILM"THE KING'S SPEECH" SHOWS THE KING SUCCESSFULLY OVERCOMING HIS STAMMER AND ABLE TO GO ON TO MAKE MANY WARTIME  INSPIRATIONAL SPEECHES TO HIS SUBJECTS.  UNLESS MODERN EDUCATION ADVOCATES SWEAR WORDS IN THE CLASSROOM LIKE ALL HOLLYWOOD AND I GUESS BRITISH FILMS DO, IT WON'T BE SHOWN IN SPEECH CLASS.   BUT WE CAN BLAME IT ON THE  WEINSTEINS WHO PRODUCED THE FILM.  THEY MUST USE THE F BOMB DAILY IN ALL PERSONAL BUSINESS BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T MIND IF EVERY SPEECH STUDENT HEARD IT.
                               FIRST WE SAW A BALLERINA MASTURBATING AND RECEIVING FELLATIO IN "BLACK SWAN."  THEN WE SEE  NATALIE PORTMAN WHO PLAYED THE CRAZED BALLERINA PREGNANT RECEIVING THE GOLDEN GLOBE FOR BEST ACTRESS. I GUESS THAT PROVES SHE WON'T BE TYPECAST IN LESBIAN PARTS.   UNFORTUNATELY MOST BALLET  SCHOOLS WON'T BE SHOWING  NATALIE DANCING AND GOING MAD.  OR WILL THEY?  WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE MOVIES?  WHY DO THESE FIILMS HAVE TO BE MORE VULGAR THAN MOST ADAM SANDLER FILMS.
                                   WON'T FILMS BE PRODUCED WITHOUT SWEAR WORDS OR SEX(PREFERABLY HOMOSEXUAL)?   I'M SURE RIN TIN TIN,LASSIE AND HEIDI WILL BE REMADE WITH THE F-BOMB SOON.

                                       SO SPEECH PROBLEMS ARE CURED BY SWEARING AND DANCERS GO CRAZY WHILE MASTURBATING.  WE'VE LEARNED A FEW THINGS RECENTLY.  WHO KNEW?