GOLFING

6TH HOLE-OUR BACKYARD

                        I PLAYED 4 HOLES WITH MY NEW $400 A MONTH AND USUALLY $800 AFTER MEALS AND PARTIES FAMILY GOLF MEMBERSHIP.   SO THAT MINI ROUND COST ME $200 DOLLARS A HOLE.  ACTUALLY IT WAS $100 PER HOLE BECAUSE MY HUSBAND PLAYED TOO.  MAYBE WE COULD QUICKLY ADOPT 8 KIDS.  THEN IT WOULD BE $10 A HOLE.
                           ANYWAY I PLAYED AND WAS NO WORSE THAN I WAS WHEN I WAS 21 AND USED TO PLAY GOLF ON WEEKENDS ON A PUBLIC COURSE.  YOU ALWAYS HAD A GALLERY BECAUSE 2 OR 3 FOURSOMES WERE WAITING TO TEE OFF.  USUALLY WHOMEVER WE PLAYED WITH WOULD PUT THEIR ARMS AROUND ME AND GIVE ME A GOLF LESSON.  THAT USUALLY MADE ME WORSE. 
                               I ALWAYS PLAYED WITH MY FATHER WHO TOOK UP GOLF AFTER HE GAVE UP DRINKING AND AFTER WE HAD ALL GROWN UP.  LUCKILY HE NEVER TOOK UP BOOZE AGAIN EVEN THOUGH MY GOLFING WAS ATROCIOUS.  I HAD NO IDEA YOU SHOULD PRACTICE.  I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU COULD OR COULDN'T PLAY WELL.
                               MY FATHER WAS VERY PATIENT, NEVER EXASPERATED ABOUT MY GOLF OR ANYBODY ELSE'S.  HE WAS NEVER IN A RUSH.  HE ALWAYS PLAYED ON SATURDAYS IN THE AFTERNOON. I NEVER PLAYED MORE THAN 9 HOLES.  WE ALWAYS WALKED.  I WAS PERPETUALLY HUNGRY AND COULDN'T WAIT TO HAVE A PEANUT BUTTER FILLED YELLOW CHEESE CRACKER AT THE SNACK BAR ON THE 5TH HOLE.

THE COURSE AT SUNRISE WHEN THE MOWING AND BLOWING BEGINS-ACTUALLY BEFORE DAWN BECAUSE THE MOWERS HAVE LIGHTS

                                  THE PAR 5 WAS EXHAUSTING.  I HAD TO HIT THE BALL A ZILLION TIMES TO GET TO THE HOLE.  STILL WE PLAYED EVERY WEEK UNTIL I MET MY TENNIS PLAYING BOYFRIEND.  THEN GOLF WAS FINISHED AND TENNIS WAS MY NEW SPORT.  TENNIS WAS MORE FUN,COULD BE DONE INDOORS  AND HAD ATTRACTIVE OUTFITS TO WEAR.  EVERY YEAR WE WENT TO THE US OPEN IN NEW YORK FOR A WEEK.  PAT SUMMERALL WAS THERE UNBEKNOWNST TO ME HIGH ON PAIN PILLS FOR A N OLD FOOTBALL INJURY.  THE OPEN WAS LONG AND TIRING.  I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW PAT COULD SIT THERE FOR OURS BROADCASTING THE TENNIS TOURNAMENT.  YEARS LATER WHEN PAT ANNOUNCED HE WAS GOING INTO REHAB WE FOUND OUT HE WAS HOOKED ON PAIN PILLS.
                                      MY TENNIS LOVER LOVER TIRED OF ME AS HE TIRED OF EVERYTHING.  HE NEVER MARRIED.  SO I  MARRIED A GOLF ADDICT.  WE WENT TO BERMUDA TO PLAY GOLF ON OUR HONEYMOON.  EACH DAY WE WE WENT TO  A DIFFERENT COURSE ON OUR MOPEDS.  I YEARNED FOR A PINK SAND  BEACH  BUT GOT SAND TRAPS INSTEAD.
                                       NOW IN OUR RETIREMENT YEARS WE LIVE ON THE SIXTH HOLE OF A BEAUTIFUL IF NOT NOISY FROM CONSTANT MAINTENANCE PRIVATE GOLF COURSE WHERE WE RARELY PLAY.  W JOINED THE OTHER DAY BECAUSE IT MIGHT REVERT BACK TO THE GRASSY FIELDS IT WAS BEFORE THE COURSE WAS BUILT IN THE 1980'S.  SO GOLF WE MUST BECAUSE OUR CAUSE IS JUST.